Irreplaceable

Home Archive for 2012

I am Irene Joy. I am born at the dawn of July 13, 1993, Tuesday. I live at the heart of Misamis Oriental, Philippines. I love blogging about things I like, the lessons I learned and about the life I live. I am a totally dependent daughter to my parents, a friend to my friends and a good person to the people who are true to me.

I am taking up Technology Communication Management of Mindanao University of Science and Technology here at the City of Cagayan de Oro. I am at my senior year now and is hopefully looking forward to march the aisle to get my diploma. I want to be a good communicator someday, a Developmental Communicator, specifically. I want to address the problems and concerns of the people who are less fortunate to those who are in power, through my skills and talent. And hopefully, someday, I would be able to do that one.

I am a family-oriented person. I am a only daughter to our fam. I mostly depend my decisions to them especially the critical ones. However, sometimes, they want me to be self-reliant, that is why I learned to think deeper and be responsible in everything I do. I grow up alone and no siblings at all so I understand them in that part. I usually having a hard time with decision-making because I learned to weigh both sides and think about the possible consequences in each decision that I could make. My parents are sometimes very harsh when they lay lessons which I must learn. I often say that what they are doing are already too much, and I may give up my dreams for them but that I know in my heart isn’t true because I am striving good and enough for them, my schooling is for them, my hardwork is for them, my dreams are for them and my future is their future too. I sometimes cry and weep but at the end of the day I know that those things are just lessons for me to learn and its for my sake, only for my sake. I thank God for giving them to me and I thank them for staying around. Because of them, I learned not to be a spoiled only-daughter but a person coiled with values. I love them so much.

I am a writer since I was an elementary grader and I learned to write various articles and literary pieces. Being a a student-writer is a career that I can say a unique thing of me and something that I could be proud of. I could express myself and find the real person in me. Now, I am an editor to our university student publication and I don’t know how I became one. I simply write to express not to impress.

Four years ago, I learned something where I could express myself, other than being a writer, of course. I love being a blogger. I tried websites to websites until I found this one and I considered Blogger as my home. I blog things that catches my eyes and all the matters that interest me and nothing else. For now, I welcome you to this space. You will know me more in my blog posts because my story continues here and I am hoping to see the once ‘once upon a time’ would have its ‘happily ever after’ ending in here.

September 1, 2012 – Araw ng Jasaan, the first day of September and in addition, due to the month’s last syllable which is BER, Roman Catholic believers and other Christians who commence Christmas will begin to put colored lights in their window panes or perhaps, play Christmas songs in their players. This date is perhaps, an anniversarry or monthsarry to some couples or maybe a birthday to few who were born by September the first. In Harry Potter series, this day is the first day of school in Hogwarts School of Withcraft and Wizardry (Oh no, I miss Harry. I am imagining him now in King’s Cross station and is sitting in a train compartment withe Hermione, Ron and Ginny).

Well, I’m not retelling you that magical story or saying that September 1 is my birthday. You know, the first day of September, year of our Lord, 2012, was supposed to be an ordinary day for me. I woke up with my typical mood. I went to our university. I visited the Trailblazer’s office. I joined the Mass Media and Society class with our instructor throwing comments, teases and funny looks on me while reading the Trailblazer first ish magazine.

Yes, as usual as that. A plain Saturday, the seventh day of the week. Nonetheless, never did I expect that it would be a date I will be remembering forever – until my last breath.

I was just terrified and scared at that time that I thought it could be my worst of all worst nightmares. What was that really? I will tell you some other time and on the right time. Please don’t look at it as a gigantic, big deal, okay? For now, only the people inside our house, our neighbors and a classmate of mine who heard about that commotion know. It’s a bit silly and embarrassing, really. However, again, I tell you, ON THE RIGHT TIME. I will just call you maybe. :DD

Now, instead of killing you via curiousity :D, I will just have to tell you something I would foretell you on telling me that you never expected me to say, once you’ve finished reading this blog post of mine. Nevertheless, it would then be fine for me. I would even display comment boxes for you to comment on.

Now, let us begin with what I believed and so, believing until now. It flows within the context of this text message I made month ago.

Kung gusto ka respetuhon, pag-respeto pud.

Wala na sa edad, kung manghod man nimo o magulang.

Basta kabalo ka nga imo nang isig katawo,

responsibilidad nimo ang pag-respeto.

Oh see? Bisaya lang teh. Heehe. Ahm, seriously, RESPECT always comes in every way we take. Each person has the right to be respected. Giving respect also means you give value to the person you are dealing with. May it be his beliefs, acts or feelings. The person will surely appreciate it, knowing that he is being respected. It is very important because if you don’t respect him, it will surely affect the way he will be dealing with other people. It could be the reason that they will be poorly confident, lost trust to theirselves or will prevent them to be true and worse, will not accept theirselves and thus, will be afraid to show theirselves to others. That will then result to poor interpersonal and intrapersonal communication as well.

You know, I just admire this text message I received from one of my friends a week ago and here it goes:

Respect people’s feelings. Even if it doesn’t mean anything to you,

it could mean everything to them.

Yiz.. and I think, it’s not just people’s feelings that each of us should owe a valuable respect but as well as everything that there is in a person and these includes (and most especially) those simple and small things because what’s small thing to us could be the big world to other people, a big world where their lives depend.

So, awesome people of the whole wide world, was my sermon logical enough? Comments, suggestions, reactions, NOT violent reactions are now openly accepted! :D

And lastly, belated Nth (I don't actually know if ikapila na. sorry. :d). Anyway, belated Happy Araw ng Jasaan to all Ag-ag people! Awh, I mean, to my fellow Jasaanons! Happy kaarawan, my beloved dapit! :D

Hmmmmmmmmm.. okay..

I'm ending this blog with a (:
(: though you're heart is aching. Somehow, it will ease the pain inside. Mwuahaha.
Lablabbb! - Irene (:

I’ve been anxious these days because my classmate had lost something that really matters to me: my pink fan. You know, it’s like our room is at times really warm because even though there are electric fans or air conditioners, many people are in the room that’s why the coolness cannot accommodate our number. Hence, it’s so hot! And it makes me uncomfortable and it reminds me of that little property of mine. It’s not that I am so overly sentimental but that little thing worth more than thirty pesos and the worse, I even sacrifice my afternoon snack just to buy that one. Aside from that, the content of my bag looks awkward without it. I really still can imagine its fuchsia pink color and the sound it produce when I flip it. Grr.

Perhaps, I’m too overreacting about that material and then what? So be it. You know, I am a kind of person who really value even the teeny-tiniest thing I owned. You cannot just earn money by walking along the road; it’s from the sweat and blood of our dear parents and of ours too. For me, every peso counts. I even confront the person who borrowed it (over lang) but he just gave me reasons I forecast as lies. Wadahell. It’s really tormenting when you value a thing so much and others treated it just like a scrap. Sometimes, when I am in a situation like this, when I lost a property which is supposed to be mine and it was lost because I intend to give consideration to other people who wants it too, all I can do is to cry, forgive and sometimes, forget. In life, sacrifice is sometimes the only solution, thoug anyone cannot deny the fact that on the opposite side, it really hurts as hell. Nevertheless, you should let go, we should let go and yes, I should let go. Concrete wise, we could be so angry, devastated and sometimes, go mad. It would took weeks, months or years or God-knows-how-long to move on but that is the part of it.

I’ve been through a lot of sacrifices and it was never been easy. I once sacrificed for my family, for a friend and for a significant other who was in need. Sometimes the thing you’re sacrificing is something that you need also. Perhaps, you’re sacrificing a part of your future, your life, your happiness or your love. And you may agree or not, to sacrifice is to let go. It’s like opening your hands to let the butterfly go and at times, that butterfly could be opportunity, chance, happiness, relationship or a person you learned to love and value. At times, it could be a treasure gained once in a lifetime.

I can’t give a concrete advice for this but the only thing that I could say is that life is short and we just have to live it to the fullest. The purpose is simply to live lief the way it should be lived. We don’t have to deal with things or people who left us but instead, to those who stay with us at the end of the race. After all, if one intend to stay, no matter what he should stay. Sabi nga, Wala’y mabyaan kung wala’y magpabiya, wala’y mubiya kung dili gusto mubiya. Whether the statement satisfies you or not, it only teaches us one thing: the situation is in our hands and the result depends greatly on the decision we make because one thing is sure, we are the own drivers of our own lives. And in this situation of mine, I chose to let go. Relate-relate lang yan. :D

Before saying Sayonara, I just want to borrow a statement from one of my favorite bloggers, Ms. Repudiate Sarcasm. And here it is:

Ano ba ang ginagawa sa mga bagay na nawawala?

Hinahanap.

Eh, ano naman ang ginagawa sa mga bagay na hindi mo na talaga mahanap?

Pinapalitan.

As the same, I gonna let that pink fan of mine go and be a good use to its new owner. I, on the other hand, will buy a new one. Daghan man barato sa Cogon or sa Plaza Divisoria na night cafe. So, yeko ar. Heehe.

Be wise, be practical, be you. Ajah!

It was 30 minutes to seven in the evening yesterday when I started to scroll the content of the inbox of my phone and read a number of messages. I was about to close the last message when I decided to give it a second read and here it goes:

There was a time that I wish i could change the past,

but unfortunately, the past changed me a lot.

Hoookay, past again. *Irene winking here. :D* Don’t worry, this won’t be another sad looking back love story.

I was thinking on what should I write just to arouse your interest in reading this one. However, I can’t think of something jolly. So, I decided to just give you tidbits of my.. well, just a few of my craziness back then.

In line with the topic which is about the past or simply, the things that our yesterday has brought us, I just want to dig a little few of a story I considered to be “not private” at all, if you tried to read previous posts of mine. If you haven’t, then try to do it... later. :D For now, just keep your attention to this post.

A very classical maxim once delivered us this thought, First love never dies. Ow-hoo, don’t tell me you haven’t heard of that coz I, myself, spent my entire life with super inlove people around me and recite that to me million times already, even if I didn’t mind to believe that. I just even laugh at it and shake my head for its OA-ness. Nevertheless, that was before.

Anyways, if I may be asked if that quote above grabbed my approval too, you will not accept any answers from me. I don’t want to give my nod or have another head shake because it would sound stereotyping. I will just give my few madness when I was not still over it (or was I?). But before that, I have rules to set. Don’t laugh. Don’t tease me if we’ll meet in the pathway. Giggles and smiles are allowed. Just do it but then, at the end, you may realize that you’ve done it before too and perhaps, until now. And don’t tell me you haven’t been warned.

I’m shy. LOL. Here:

1. I wrote down all of his text messages. Well, some of his messages are still on my Inbox 2. Gonna erase those later, after posting this blog.

2. I never failed to visit his Friendster (before) and Facebook account. However, I already stopped doing it. It’s so embarassing to my own self. Besides, it gave me heartaches and painful pictures in mind. Row. :D

3. I saved a picture of him on my phone. I planned to print it but my memory card went crazy and all files have been deleted. Tsk.

4. I tracked his family tree. Oh yes, this was crazy. I even added his sisters and his mommy on FB and also, his Dada. Shets, Councilor teh. Hadlok. Pa-search-search lang. Advantage of social media (Thesis lang? Haaha).

5. I wrote poems for him. Oh yes, all of my literary pieces on reflections are for him. Nyahaa. From essays, poems, short stories to personal gratitude. So mad, haaha. Grab another copy of Reflections this December. You might catch my last dedications there. :D (Last najud kay last na year naman nako. Huuhu. :c)

6. I lost my honor rank because of him. This was my most mushy madness. So regretful. I really hate myself for this. It was my third year high school and I was in the seventh rank back then. After another grading, I’d been thrown out from the Top 10. Sheeeee... I really cried and cried and cried. Perchance, it was because I was addicted to texting too and also, pocket books. :ccc

7. I enrolled myself in MUST. This is not actually a total madness and this reason is just partly because I believe that i am born for MUST. It’s just that he became an inspiration. Four years ago, I should have enrolled myself in XU but my feet brought me in MUST Sinking building where TCM office was located at that time. Wow, may sariling pag-iisip si feet (ows? haaha). :D

8. I slapped my seatmate’s shoulder every time I see him. Oh, haaha. The first victim was Samie, my old friend. That number of slaps was terrible and her shoulder got red marks on it. Irene, bad. :D

9. I snobbed him all the time. Oh, so ironic. At that point, I scolded myself because everytime I can’t see him, I’m desperately looking for him but when he’s already there, I won’t smile or even give a look at him. Maghulat na tawgon. OA lang ko? Papansin? PBB Teens? :D Nyehhhhh.

10. I love blogging about him. Owh, heehe. This is obvious. It’s like I’m hoping before that after some time, he would be able to reach and read this blog and luckily (and at the same time, unluckily-so ulaw), he already did. Haaha, well.. naulaw ko, ‘stilan. Pina-thank you lang teh. :D Well, hmm.. besides, it’s like it will lessen the agony if you could share your worst nightmare to others. It will expand your happiness if you will open it to other people (Parang, open-happiness lang with Coca-cola. Hehe). It’s like all things including your best dream will soon happen in the future, thus, opening hope to others. (Irene! Stop! Mura naka gahimo ug article! :D) Bitaw, what I mean is that blogging is a way of expressing yourself to others. It’s about sharing a part of you as person. Hence, for me, it requires a very critical decision-making because of course one of the things that I’m risking is privacy. As you see, I’m still telling you I’m private. Though, a part of me is in this blog but I tell you, I’ve been very careful and trust me with that. :D

Now, let’s go back to the topic. Hmm.. I’ve been a mile opposite of it already. Heehe, pasaylua. Above are the few of many superb mushy madness of mine and hey, it’s really embarassing when I imagine myself in that scenario back then. Haaha. However, I’m not saying that I regret that I’ve done it because I know it will cause me to smile in the future. Let other peple poke me with a stick, tease me to death and laugh at me so hard, believe me, crazy memories we had are just the best.

I don’t know where destiny would send me. For now, I’m trusting The Above to heal the wounds I have and unerase the scars because I know no matter how my memory got so weak, the scars will lead me back to this memory and it will remind me that once of this life of mine, I’ve been broken but I’ve learned to be a whole of me again.